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Making a claim against an estate for in-home care of a friend or loved one can be difficult. The truth is that many times these claims often fall under the category of "things that you would have done anyway." Effectively, you are taking the position of being a creditor owed a debt by the estate for the services that you provided. As with any creditor's claim, much of the viability is found in the details. Was there an agreement of some kind between you and the decedent, verbal, or in writing? Was there an expectation of remuneration on your part and expectation of payment for the services on the decedent's part? Is it possible to prove a debt and recover a part of the estate for your services? Sure. Whether or not it is likely depends far too much on the specific arrangement. Your best bet is to consult with a probate attorney near you to outline all of the relevant facts involved.

The terms of your mother's will determine you and your brother's rights, obligations, and duties with regard to settling her estate and the division of her property. If your mother is still mentally capable of doing so, it is a good idea to talk to her about these issues now while she is still alive. The division of her personal property in the home is something that she could do while living, and it would be up to her to include or exclude her husband from the process. It sounds as though your mother is quite ill, so this may not be possible. If you have a copy of your mother's will, it may be a good idea to take it to a local attorney who is knowledgeable about probate law to discuss your concerns.

You can make the claim. The family is going to say the services were gratuitous. There are deadlines for making a claim in an estate, so if you're going to do it, do it soon.