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That seems odd if you plan to act jointly.  However, if the trust agreement does not state that you must act jointly, your sister could act without you.  If she made a mistake, you could be financially liable as well.  Perhaps you should have it reviewed by an attorney and take steps, if needed, to limit your liability.

"Customary" doesn't matter much; the maker of a trust can say what he or she wants to say in terms of who takes. The question is a little confusing, but I'm gathering that one child of the trust-maker has passed away, and the trust calls for distribution to the deceased child's children, rather than to the deceased child's spouse. In my experience, yes, that is the more common distribution, keeping the wealth in the lineal family descent. Marriage is a little too dicey these days for many people.

First of all, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. The man who adopted you at two years old is legally your father. As such, you are entitled to inherit from him. You don't say if your father left behind a will or not, but if he did, that would dictate what you're specifically entitled to from his estate. If he did not leave a will, you are still entitled to inherit from your father, although the intestate succession laws would determine what percentage of his estate you are entitled to. I strongly recommend you have a consultation with an attorney in the area where he lived to discuss your options further. Good luck.