Did you hear about the man in Minnesota who was arrested and given a DUI after he drove his motorized recliner into a parked car? I'm not sure which is the stranger part of the story: That someone would take the time to add wheels and a motor to a reclining chair, or that you could be charged with driving a chair while intoxicated.

As of Friday, this strange story got a bit stranger: Proctor, Minn., police report that they sold the motorized recliner on eBay for $10,099.99 to an unidentified bidder.

State and federal laws allow government officials, including the police, to seize property if it has been used in the commission of a crime, or if it was bought with the proceeds of a crime. A Wall Street Journal article estimates that $1 billion in cash and property is seized annually in the United States. In fact, some critics argue that forfeiture laws are less about punishing the guilty, and more about enriching government agencies, which keep the income earned from selling seized property.

It's easy to understand the logic behind seizing a drug dealer's exotic car collection, or seizing Bernie Madoff's luxury homes. But imagine you lent your car to a friend who's later arrested for DUI or soliciting a prostitute. How would you feel if the police impounded your car and refused to return it?

The government has a process for returning seized property to its rightful (and innocent) owners, but that process can drag out for years, and many people often give up rather than pursuing the matter. However, the U.S. Supreme Court is hearing a case to determine whether innocent property owners are entitled to a prompt hearing to reclaim their property. In the case before the court, the plaintiffs argued that Chicago officials were taking too long to return property seized in drug cases. In Illinois, it can take up to 6 months following seizure before a hearing is held. The plaintiffs said that was too long, and a federal appeals court agreed.

"Our society is, for good or not, highly dependent on the automobile," wrote Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Terence Evans in the decision. "Consider the owner of an automobile which is seized because the driver--not the owner--is the one accused and whose actions caused the seizure. The innocent owner can be without his car for months or years without a means to contest the seizure or even to post a bond to obtain its release."

Illinois officials disagree with the appeals court's decision, so the case will now be decided by the U.S. Supreme Court. A decision is expected in the Spring.

Related Links:

• Learn more about appeals to the U.S. Supreme Court on Lawyers.com
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Former NBAer Reggie Miller does it. Annie on TV's 90210 did it. The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck has even admitted to accidentally doing it.

These days, there seems to be no shortage of stories about people who are sexting, or sending explicit photos and text messages via their cell phones or computers.

The trend isn't limited to celebrities and fictional TV characters. An increasing number of news reports focus on adults and minors who have run afoul of the law because of sexting. Just this week a New Jersey teacher was charged with endangering the welfare of a child after he allegedly sent sexually-explicit text messages to a student. And in Beaumont, Texas, last week, three students were barred from participating in extracurricular activities because they were allegedly sexting in violation of school rules.

According to renowned attorney Gloria Allred:

• Teens who participate in sexting, and adults who sext with minors, could face criminal charges for child pornography or criminal use of a communications device
• Adults and minors who are convicted of sexting-related charges could face probation or could be incarcerated, and the criminal charges would remain on their record indefinitely
• Adults and minors who are convicted of sexting-related charges could also be labeled as sex offenders, which could require them to register with local law enforcement authorities, notify neighbors of their sex offender status and include them in sex offender databases

In fact, just last week a Pennsylvania state legislator introduced legislation that would make it a summary criminal offense for anyone under the age of 18 to send sexually images or videos using a phone or computer.

Unfortunately, most parents don't seem to realize the potential threats that sexting presents. A recent Lawyers.com study found:

• One-third of parents of teens aged 13-18 are unaware of the practice of sexting, or don't understand what it involves
• Only one in 10 parents believes their teen is sending or receiving sexts
• 64 percent of the parents surveyed do not think their teens have ever engaged in any sexting

One bright spot in the survey: About 70 percent of the parents surveyed say they understand the potential legal consequences of sexting, and a majority of parents say they've discussed the dangers with their children.

If you have teenage children, you should discuss with them the potential ramification of sexting. Not only could your child face criminal legal charges for sexting, but they could also suffer socially.

Related Links:

• Learn more about Sexting: Pornography or High-Tech Flirting? on Lawyers.com
• Find a criminallaw attorney on Lawyers.com
• Discuss your issues on the Lawyers.com criminal law forum
• Lawyers.com Suggested Legal Books

Before "Balloon Boy" stole the headlines last Thursday, another little boy was making the news. Zachary Christie is the cute first grader who bought a camping tool--which included a combo fork, spoon and knife--to school so he could use it when eating lunch. In doing so, Zachary inadvertently violated the school district's zero-tolerance weapons policy. He was initially suspended and sentenced to 45 days in reform school before the school district came to its senses and let him return to classes.

The incident seemed to leave most people expressing disbelief over the ridiculousness of some school disciplinary policies. But this isn't the first time that stories like this have made headlines. In the past, I've also heard about kids getting suspended for carrying aspirin and other over-the-counter drugs that most of us would consider to be harmless.

I think every parent with school-aged kids who hears these stories probably thinks to themselves, "That could just have easily been my child." But for every kid who inadvertently violates school rules, many more kids legitimately break the rules.

Most public school discipline issues are handled with a simple time out or in-school suspension, which doesn't impinge on a student's access to education. But out-of-school suspensions or expulsions have become more common thanks to zero-tolerance policies. Unfortunately, suspensions and expulsions often stay on your child's permanent school record and may put them at a disadvantage when applying for college.

Each state, and sometimes even each school district, has specific rules for how a school disciplinary process must be conducted, but there are some general principles of federal law which apply.

Students can typically be suspended or expelled for:

• Drug, alcohol or weapons possession
• Assaulting other students
• Repeated disruptive behavior

If your child attends a public school, they are entitled to what's called "due process" before they can be suspended or expelled. Due process means that the suspension or expulsion must be done in a fair and evenhanded manner. This generally means that students and their parents have the right to:

• Know the school's rules ahead of time
• Be given meaningful notice of the charges
• Have an opportunity to be heard in an appropriate setting

At the beginning of the school year, your child should have received a student handbook or other document that spells out the rules everyone must follow. (These rules are often posted prominently at school, too.) You and your child should review these rules together when you receive them so you both understand what is and is not acceptable.

If your child is facing disciplinary action and the school hasn't made the rules available to each student, you may be able to argue that your child didn't know of the rule that he or she is accused of violating.

If your child is being suspended or expelled, you should receive a detailed oral or written notice of the charges, including:

• A description of the behavior that violated school rules
• A description of the evidence
• The number of days of suspension, and when the suspension begins and ends
• A specific date, time and location at which you can appear to challenge the suspension or expulsion

At the appeals hearing, school representatives will present the evidence against your child, and you'll have the opportunity to present evidence in your child's defense. Consider hiring an attorney to represent your child, particularly if there is the possibility of criminal charges. Your child doesn't have to answer questions asked by the school or the police.

In many public school districts, parents may also appeal a suspension or expulsion decision to the school board or a special appointed committee. Even if your child has already served out a suspension before an appeal can be processed, you should appeal the decision if you think it was unfair, so that the punishment doesn't continue to be a black mark on your child's school record.

Related Links:

• Learn more about freedom of expression in schools on Lawyers.com
• Find a school law attorney on Lawyers.com
• Discuss your issues on the Lawyers.com education and school law forum
• Lawyers.com Suggested Legal Books

After breaking her hip, my grandmother spent a month in the hospital followed by a couple of months in the medical unit of an assisted-living facility while she underwent physical therapy and regained strength in her legs. When she checked into the assisted-living facility, my family knew that--in all likelihood--her stay was just temporary. But other patients were permanent residents, because their families were unable or unwilling to care for them in their own homes.

I spent enough time at the assisted-living facility to see how well the staff treated its patients. I watched one resident, who must have had some type of memory problem, repeatedly go to the nursing station and ask the same question over and over again. This behavior might have frustrated some people, but the nursing staff patiently answered her question again, regardless of how many times they'd already answered it for her.

Before spending time with my grandmother, I imagined that assisted-living facilities might be sad, depressing places. (And I'm sure that some are.) But I came to realize that good facilities may be a lifesaver to some families that don't have the time, energy or patience to deal with a family member who has serious medical needs.

Even the most patient person may feel frustrated or angry when dealing with someone who has a diminished mental capacity or physical ailments. We've all been put in situations where we've had to take a step back in order to control our emotions and keep our temper in check. Unfortunately, domestic abuse occurs when caretakers are unable to manage their own emotions, and take their anger or frustration out on the very people who depend on them for support, or when a caretaker willfully exploits or neglects a person under their care.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and elder abuse is one common form of domestic violence. Although statistics are hard to come by, the National Center on Elder Abuse reports that:

• As many as 2 million Americans age 65 and older have been exploited, neglected, abused or injured by someone they relied on for care and protection
• Only about one in 14 cases of elder abuse ever come to the attention of authorities

All 50 states have laws that address the problem of elder abuse and neglect, but the laws are not uniform. Each state law specifically defines elder abuse. Typically, state law definitions include:

• Physical abuse
• Active or passive neglect
• Deprivation of care that results in physical harm or pain and/or mental suffering

Many states include financial exploitation of the elderly in their definitions of elder abuse. Sexual abuse, which involves any form of nonconsensual sexual touching, may also be specifically addressed. Some states even include self-neglect by elderly individuals in the definition of elder abuse.

There is a growing trend to treat elder abuse as a criminal offense with enhanced penalties and sentences. Elder abuse statutes provide a range of criminal punishments from misdemeanor to felony, fines, and/or jail time. A few states have even included the elderly in their "hate crime" statutes.

Some state laws also create special penalties--such as double or treble damages--for those who defraud elderly consumers. In some states, minimum sentencing ranges may be set for criminals convicted of committing crimes against the elderly. There may be separate penalties for entities (such as nursing homes) and professional caregivers who abuse the elderly. In some states, nursing homes and other institutional caregivers and their works are subject to penalties including loss of license, censure and fines.

There are several steps you can take if you suspect someone is committing elder abuse.

• If the elderly person is in immediate danger, call 911 or contact local police officials in the area in which the elderly person lives.
• You can also contact the state's elder abuse hotline or the local protective-services agency that deals with elder abuse.
• Contact the U.S. Administration on Aging's national Eldercare Locator at 800-677-1116.

Related Links:

• Learn more about elder law on Lawyers.com
• Find an elder law attorney in your area
• Discuss your issues on the Lawyers.com elder lawforum
• Lawyers.com Suggested Legal Books

Not far from my house is a busy intersection with long traffic lights. Traffic can stack up, so it's not unusual to sit though a couple cycles of the lights before you can pass through the intersection. Not surprisingly, many drivers push their luck in an effort to make it through the yellow light. But recently the city installed a red-light camera that photographs drivers who run red lights. I know more than one person who's been surprised to find a traffic ticket in their mail after having been photographed running the light.

According to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, red-light cameras use sensors that trigger a camera when a car enters an intersection after a light turns red. The camera takes at least one or more photographs of the offending vehicle, and records the license plate number, date, time and location where the picture was taken. A ticket is then mailed to the vehicle's registered owner. The camera is not triggered if a car is already in the intersection when the light turns red, and the cameras are often programmed to give vehicles a grace period of a fraction of a second after the light changes.

The IIHS argues that red-light cameras are responsible for at least a 25 percent reduction in injury-causing crashes, though other organizations dispute that claim. Opponents claim the cameras are nothing more than a tool to generate government revenue.

If you receive a red-light ticket, there are a few ways to try to get it dismissed.

Your red-light ticket will be mailed with copies of the photograph showing your alleged violation, or the ticket will direct you to a website where you can view the photographs. Confirm that it's actually your vehicle in the pictures, because errors do occur.

Also verify whether you are the person who was driving when the violation occurred. If someone else frequently drives you car, they may be the person who's actually liable. Don't make them simply reimburse you for the cost of the ticket; you want to transfer the ticket to their name so it doesn't hurt your driving record.

Research your state's laws about red-light tickets. If tickets need to mailed within a certain number of days, did you receive yours in a timely manner? Does the law require signs warning motorists that red-light cameras are in use? If it does, visit the intersection to confirm that the signs exist in accordance with the law, and take photographs if they are missing.

If you have legitimate reasons to argue that you shouldn't have been ticketed, you'll need to contest or challenge the citation. The ticket should include instructions explaining how you can fight the ticket in person or via mail. Take care to follow the instructions precisely. Regardless of whether you're arguing the ticket aloud or in writing, thoroughly prepare your argument. Ask a friend to read your letter or listen to your reasons, then ask them for feedback. A detailed explanation and a well-prepared argument will help you fight your red-light ticket.

Related Links:

• Learn more about traffic violations on Lawyers.com
• Find a traffic violation lawyer in your area
• Discuss traffic citation issues on the Lawyers.com forums
• Review a list of communities using red-light cameras
• Lawyers.com Suggested Legal Books

Each summer, we're inevitably hit with tragic stories about kids who were left in the heat of a locked vehicle, where they can quickly overheat and may even die. According to a San Francisco State University Department of Geosciences study, as of July 23, 2009, 22 children have died this year of hyperthermia after being left in cars, and since 1998, an average of 37 kids have died annually after being locked in hot vehicles.

In about 53 percent of the cases where the child died, SFSU reports that the caretaker accidentally left the child in the car. Thirty percent of the children who died were playing in an unattended vehicle. And 17 percent of the cases involved a caretaker who intentionally left the child in the car.

The stories are so sad not only because these deaths were preventable, but also because escaping a car is so easy for most of us, but almost impossible for young kids.

SFSU reports that 15 states have laws regarding unattended children left in vehicles. Those states are:

• California
• Connecticut
• Florida
• Hawaii
• Illinois
• Louisiana
• Maryland
• Michigan
• Nebraska
• Nevada
• Oklahoma
• Pennsylvania
• Tennessee
• Texas
• Washington

In states where the laws don't specifically address the issue, parents and caretakers can still face criminal charges. Charges, however, will vary depending on the jurisdiction and the specific circumstances of the situation. For example, a prosecutor might consider:

• Was the child accidentally or deliberately left in the vehicle, or did the child get into the vehicle without the caretaker's knowledge?
• If the child was deliberately left in the vehicle, did the caretaker believe it was OK to do so?
• How hot was it outside?
• Have the caretakers previously been investigated for, or charged with, abuse or neglect?
• Were there aggravating circumstances that contributed to the caretaker's negligence, such as a medical condition, drug or alcohol abuse?

Among the possible charges are: manslaughter, misdemeanor child neglect and misdemeanor negligent homicide. A 2007 Associated Press study showed that charges were filed in 49 percent of all cases, and there were convictions or guilty pleas in 81 percent of the cases where charges were brought.

Don't want your child (or pet) to become another statistic? Follow these recommendations:

• Never leave children or pets unattended in a car, for whatever reason.
• When parking your car, take the time to confirm that no one remains in it. Remember that kids can and do hide in cars. Even if you think you're driving alone, double check before you leave your car.
• Teach your kids not to play in or around the car. But also teach your kids how to safely escape from your cars and trunks if they accidentally become entrapped.
• Lock your car, even when it's parked at home or in your garage. Make sure that the keys and remote openers are out of reach of young children.
• Develop a routine of putting something essential in the back seat, next to your children, whenever they are in the car. For example, place your briefcase, purse or house keys in the back seat.
• Ask the school or day-care center to call you immediately if your child is not at school and the absence is unplanned.
• If your car lacks a inside trunk-release mechanism, talk to your mechanic about having one installed.

Related Links:

• Learn more about your legal issue on Lawyers.com
• Discuss your legal issues on the Lawyers.com forums
• Lawyers.com Suggested Legal Books

For many people, a barbeque and fireworks are the only way to celebrate the Fourth of July. It seems like such good, harmless, all-American fun. You get to soak up the warm weather, drink some beer with friends and watch kids fool around with bottle rockets. As holidays go, it has none of the pressures of Christmas or Thanksgiving or Valentine's Day. After all, on July 4 no one expects you to serve an elaborate meal or give the perfect gift.

But there are some unappreciated risks that come with the Fourth of July, and if you inadvertently encounter them, they could ruin your holiday celebration even faster than a summer thunderstorm.

I'm referring, of course, to alcohol and fireworks.

If you host a party where alcohol is served, you could face criminal charges and civil lawsuits if one of your guests drinks too much and gets in an accident. The consequences can be even more severe if the person who is overserved is under the legal drinking age.

Laws vary widely by state, with some states imposing no liability on party hosts. Other states limit responsibility of party hosts to injuries that occur onsite at your party. But in some states party hosts are liability for injuries from traffic accidents involving the person who drank alcohol at your party.

Most states impose liability on party hosts where alcohol was served to a minor, the host was reckless in serving alcohol or the host should have recognized the extent of the guest's intoxication and not served him or her more alcohol. A judge or jury would be responsible for deciding whether a host was "reckless" in serving alcohol.

So if you're hosting a party this Fourth of July weekend, there are many things you can do to lessen the possibility you'll be held responsible for your guest's actions after drinking too much:

• Make sure no minors are served
• Discourage guests from drinking excessively, and stop serving anyone who appears visibly intoxicated
• Encourage the use of designated drivers. Rather than letting someone wander out the door in an obviously intoxicated state, enlist another guest headed in their direction to drive them home or call a taxi
• In extreme circumstances, take your guest's car keys and insist they sleep over

Before you consider buying fireworks, know whether fireworks are legal in your state or community, and heed the local laws. Just because fireworks are being sold doesn't necessarily mean they're legal.

I live in Illinois, and neighboring Indiana has much more permissive fireworks laws. Not surprisingly, you see signs pointing to fireworks stores as soon as you cross into Indiana. Also not surprisingly, each year at this time, you read articles about Illinois cops ticketing people who have bought fireworks in Indiana and then driven back into Illinois.

According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, the majority of people who are injured by consumer fireworks are hurt because the product is used in an unsafe manner, not because the product malfunctioned. In 2007, the CPSC says that about 9,800 people were treated for fireworks-related injuries.

If you are using fireworks at home, the CPSC recommends:

• Don't let kids play with fireworks
• Follow the firework's directions and pay attention to the warnings
• Make sure people keep a safe distance from the fireworks that are being set off
• Do not relight fireworks that failed to detonate
• Launch fireworks from a smooth surface such as asphalt or concrete. Avoid setting off fireworks near anything flammable, such as dry leaves or homes
• Keep a hose or bucket of water nearby in case of a fire

Related Links:

• Read more about social host alcohol liability on Lawyers.com
• Learn more about fireworks safety
• Read more about homeowner's insurance on Lawyers.com
• Lawyers.com Suggested Legal Books

I just returned from a visit with my 18-month-old nephew. Each and every time he rides in the car, his parents diligently strap him into his forward-facing car seat. He's happy and comfortable there, and I'm always pleasantly surprised to see that he accepts the seat, with all of its straps and buckles, with little fuss or fanfare.

Today's car-seat laws are very different than those the existed when my brother and I were young. As children of the 1970s, we only spent a couple years--if that--in a car seat. (I joke that my Mom just let us roll around in the back of her Datsun station wagon. While not entirely true, the standards were much more lax than they are today.) By the time we were four or five years old, we were fighting over which one us got to ride in the front seat.

New parents, relatives, guardians and caregivers must acquaint themselves with laws and guidelines that barely existed a generation ago. Laws also vary from state to state, so parents who travel with kids have to familiarize themselves with several sets of rules. But all of the laws generally follow some basic principles that have developed over time:

• Infants should ride in the back seat of the vehicle, in a rear-facing car seat, until at least one year old and at least 20 pounds.
• Use forward-facing car seats after the child graduates from a rear-facing seat. The forward-facing seat should also be installed in the car's back seat, and is used until the child is about four years old and weighs 40 pounds.
• Booster seats should be used, also in the back seat, until the car's seat belts properly fit a child. Booster seats are usually used until the child is eight years old and about 4'9" tall.
• Seat belts or safety belts should be used after the child outgrows the booster seat. Children should continue to sit in a back seat.

The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety publishes a state-by-state list of child-restraint laws. The IIHS also compiles a list of safety belt laws for children who have outgrown car seats and booster seats.

Experts recommend that you follow the guidelines listed above, even if your state's laws are less stringent. Parents should also be careful to read the manufacturer's guidelines for their particular safety seat. For example, if your infant has outgrown a rear-facing car seat, but is still less than one year old, you should buy a new rear-facing seat or buy a convertible seat (one that can be used in both the rear-facing and forward-facing positions) to use in the rear-facing position until your child is at least one year old. Regardless of weight and size, your baby still needs to have the physical development that comes with time before it is safe to ride in a forward-facing car seat.

Penalties for Breaking the Law

All 50 states, as well as the District of Columbia, have child-restraint laws. In most states, violations are a primary offense, which means the police can pull you over if they see you break the law. In a few states (including, as of May 2009, Colorado, Nebraska, Ohio and Pennsylvania), certain violations are only a secondary offense, which means the police can't stop you solely because you're disobeying this law, but they can ticket you if they pull you over for another reason, like speeding, and see that a child in your car isn't in a proper car seat.

The maximum fines for the first offense range from as low as $10 in Michigan and Missouri to $500 in Nevada. Some states also assess driver's license points for violations or require mandatory child-restraint education for violators.

Related Links:

• Find a lawyer on Lawyers.com
• Learn more about automobile accidents involving children
• Discuss your legal issues
• Lawyers.com Suggested Legal Books

When I heard that this was National Crime Victims' Rights Week, my first impulse was to think, "Crimes happen to other people, not me." Then I remembered my identity was stolen last year. I thought about the two men who tried to grab my purse as a friend as I walked home one night. And I sighed in disgust as I pictured the front hood of my car which bears the scars of a recent hit and run. (My car was hit, I didn't run.)

The fact is, an estimated 33 million Americans are crime victims each year. For example:

• In 2006, victims of violent crimes experienced $1.8 billion in losses, and victims of property crimes experienced $16.5 billion in losses
• Only 49 percent of violent crimes are reported to the police
• In 2006, about 905,000 children were found by protective services agencies to be victims of abuse or neglect
• About 17,000 people were murdered in the United States in 2007
• In 2005, 13% of children had received unsolicited sexual solicitations via the internet
• Each year, a quarter of the people who have been diagnosed with severe mental illness are crime victims

And it's only in the last 25 years that we've really started to take care of crime victims. In 1984, Congress passed the Victims of Crime Act which helps victims deal with the physical, financial, mental and emotional effects of the crime committed against them. One of the act's biggest legacies: the creation of the Crime Victims Fund.

The Crime Victims Fund is paid for though fines paid by criminals. It funds about 4,400 victims' assistance and compensation programs nationwide, as well as victims' advocates and victim notification systems.

Victims' assistance programs offer a variety of services, such as emergency transportation and shelter, counseling, intervention assistance and victims' advocates to help navigate the criminal justice system. These organizations and agencies often focus on specific types of crime victims. For example, your town may have a victims' assistance program that works with rape victims and another program that works only with domestic violence victims.

Victims' compensation programs help pay for a victim's medical care, counseling, lost wages, funeral costs and/or crime scene cleanup. These funds, administered by the individual states, allow victims to file a claim for reimbursement of crime-related expenses. Each state sets a cap on the maximum amount that may be awarded to a victim, and caps are usually in the range of $10,000 to $25,000.

If you have been the victim of a crime, or know someone who is crime victim, the U.S. Department of Justice's Office for Victims of Crime has created a database of available resources. These resources include local victims' assistance and compensation programs, and well as state resources that explain your rights as a crime victim.

Related Links:

• Find your state's crime victim assistance website
• Office for Victims of Crime's What You Can Do if You Are a Victim of Crime
• Learn more about what to do if you're a victim of identity theft on Lawyers.com
• Understand more about fraud against the elderly

I do a lot of volunteer work with teen girls and women who are struggling to overcome big obstacles in their lives. This includes teaching women who have been in abusive relationships how to break out of the cycle of violence, how to live independently and how to have healthy relationships in the future.

In the two months since Chris Brown was arrested for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend Rihanna, domestic abuse has been a hot topic of discussion. Unfortunately, a lot of the talk has centered around whether she provoked the violence. I wish more attention was being paid to why abuse is a crime, what repercussions Brown may face if found guilty and what steps people can take if they are in abusive relationships.

I know from my own work that the best way to deal with domestic violence is to keep it from happening in the first place. But realistically domestic abuse will always exist, and in those instances it's important that victims know they can use the legal system to stop their abusers. As we learned in preschool, just because someone hits you doesn't mean that you should hit them back.

The laws are pretty clear: Domestic violence occurs when someone uses threats, emotional abuse, harassment, physical violence or stalking to control another person's behavior. It doesn't matter if it happens once or there's a pattern of chronic behavior--it's still abuse.

Usually we hear about women who are abused by their boyfriends or husbands. While it's less common, domestic violence isn't just limited to men hurting women. Women can abuse men, and same-sex abuse also occurs. And it doesn't just refer to people in romantic relationships. Abuse can occur against the elderly, parents, kids or roommates.

So what should you do if you have been abused, or you know someone who has been? First, know that domestic violence is a crime in all 50 states. There are local, state and federal laws against it.

Alleged abusers can face criminal charges, and you can also file civil charges against the abuser. In Rihanna's case, she hasn't yet filed civil charges, and there seems to be some question as to whether she is continuing to cooperate with law enforcement on the criminal charges. But many states give police the right to arrest suspected abusers even if the victim doesn't file charges.

Getting Help

It's a myth that victims of abuse aren't emotionally strong enough to leave their abusive situations or don't really want to. Most victims do leave or try to leave repeatedly, but many people return to their abusers for a variety of reasons. And, unfortunately, most people who commit abuse once will do it again.

That's why more shelters and legal centers are now available. If you or someone you know is in danger of domestic abuse, call the National Domestic Violence hotline for help (1-800-799-7233). They can offer support and connect you to local resources.

If you fear for your safety, but aren't yet ready to leave, at least make some plans for an emergency. Set aside money, spare keys and copies of important documents. Consider asking a close friend or relative to hold them for you.

If you've been abused and you're ready to (legally) fight back, the first legal step is to file for a restraining order against your abuser. Local police can help you get an emergency protective order, which is issued if the officer believes you are in immediate danger. This prohibits the person contacting you and from coming to your home, work, school, etc.

The emergency protective order usually lasts a few days. To apply for a permanent restraining order, you'll need to go to court to fill out paperwork. They will ask you to describe the incidents and provide as much identifying information as possible about your abuser. After you apply for the permanent restraining order, you'll be issued a temporary restraining order until a hearing can be held.

Within the next two weeks, there will usually be a full hearing. You'll have to testify before a judge to explain why there needs to be a permanent restraining order. The judge will listen to your story, plus review police reports, photos, medical records and other evidence. If the judge agrees with you, he'll issue the permanent restraining order, which is valid from three months to three years.

During the hearing, the judge can also grant child custody and visitation rights, and award monetary damages.

Be forewarned: Your abuser will be asked to attend the hearing and present their side of the story. You may be scared or upset to see him or her again, but our justice system gives the accused the right to face their accusers.

Since restraining orders are considered a civil matter, your abuser may also be prosecuted in criminal court for charges such as assault and battery.

There are a lot of free legal services available to victims of abuse. To find out more, call your local legal aid office or visit your state victim assistance website.

From my personal experience working with abuse victims, I know that it can be tough for people to take the first step and admit they are in an abusive relationship. By going to the police and using the legal system to your advantage, you'll get outside assistance to help you escape the abuse and put your abuser on notice that their behavior is unacceptable.

Related Links:

• View Domestic Violence & Abuse FAQs.
• Discuss the issue on our Domestic Violence forum.
• Learn about the criminal process
in your state.